Verizon makes the dogs go ring.

The other day in our company meeting we we're talking about funny customer calls. I then had to bring up the one funny story I have in my repertoire from several years ago when I worked for Verizon. Technically I was working for GTE prior to their merger with Bell Atlantic and forming Verizon. The part of Verizon I worked for was the land-line version, much like Bell South here in North Carolina.

So the lady calls in and says this is her 3rd request for a service call on on her telephone. I quickly breakout my customer service skills and apologize for the inconvenience, then assure her I will make things right. I ask the lady what is the problem, and she says "Every time the phone rings, the dog barks." It's at this point you attempt to be sincere and professional, while barely being able to contain yourself. You refer to your Verizon Emergency procedure checklist, which states "Repeat concern back to customer to ensure you completely understand the problem."

So I ask: "Mam, when the phone rings, your dog barks?"

Yes.

So we send a tech out to service the line, and he, being farley educated in state-of-the-art telephone lines, immediately thought the woman was crazy, and basically began to humor the lady as he dialed the central office do a test loop on the line.

Ring. Bark, Bark, Bark.

Ring. Bark, Bark, Bark.

Supposedly his mouth dropped. The woman was of course right, and yes the dog barked when the phone rang. He went outside to the dog, bent down and looked at him, and then radioed for another test.

Ring. Bark, Bark, Bark.

He said the eyes of the dog about popped out of its head as it jumped 4 feet into the air.

Turns out the dog was tied to one of those overhead dog walkers, kinda like a clothes line made of cable with a leash tied to it allowing the dog to run back and forth without getting tangled up. He followed the line back to the side of the house where the other end was anchored to the side of the house. Upon closer inspection he discovered the person who had installed the dog chain had screwed it into the outside of the house precisely where the telephone line is, in the wall. And since the only reasonable amount of voltage occurs during the ring portion of the call: Every time the phone would ring, a 60 volt current would go down the dog line, into the dog leash and collar, and zap the dog.

That's a real good story. Fun-neeee!