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Mike Hogwood, the devil on my shoulder.

By beth
Executive Editor
Published: Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:44 am

Mike Hogwood has been taunting me. I hear his voice on the radio, on TV, and it's driving me nuts. It was only a few days ago and I had a nice running car. I had just put new lights, and new spark plugs in it. I drove it for a few days, and then out of no where it broke. Broke isn't the word. Technically it became a smoke generator capability of hiding the entire nuclear arsenal of Korea from spy satellites. Was it my fallible mechanical skills? Maybe. But what it appears to be is a series of unfortunate events that lifted me up one moment then ripped my soul from my body threw it on the ground and backed over it with a diesel tank; all the while, soldiers spit on me and called me fat.

OK, this might be an over exaggeration, but it's left me looking for a car.

Then there is this Mike Hogwood guy, who last time I remembered was a sportscaster for our local news channel telling me to get down to Carolina KIA and buy a SUV for $249 a month. Great idea, if you had credit. I don't. Furthermore the idea of having car payments and being crippled by that horrible disease floating through town called "Suburbanite Debt" is not something I want to contract.

Needless to say, I'm about this damn close to ringing Hogwood's neck the next time he smiles and cheers me on into becoming apart of the mind-numbing culture of tract-homes, suvs, and bottled water. The idea of presenting to everyone else the success of worldly possessions, when in fact it amounts to monthly charge and 7 years of payments.

The truth is I think I'm ready to sell my soul. To commit myself to this world, of the middle-class American. Ready to just be normal, and pay for my SUV, my home in the burbs, and the beer on the weekends to swallow my pride and realize life isn't getting any better, that no matter how many times I play the lotto, or enter to win Martha Stewart's house- my hope, my anticipation, my dreams will only last until I realize lost.

Thanks alot Mike Hogwood.
By Guest

Published: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:06 pm

Sorry, Beth. I can sympathize, because our ancient Trooper blew a head gasket this past summer. Repair cost: $ 1100.00 Approximate value of car (ideal): $1400.00
Obviously, time for a new car. "New" to us anyway. A genuinely new car depreciates at least a couple thousand bucks as soon as you leave the lot with it. So we were looking for "used", but with relatively low mileage.

Some advice, if you don't mind: if you go to one of the lots, like Carmax, make darn sure you check to see from where the car originated. If it came from up north, you could be dealing with a lot of hidden salt corrosion, which no warranty will cover. Some places, like Carmax, have a five-day, no-questions-asked return policy. Use those five days to have it checked out by a mechanic you trust. Never a bad idea with any seller if you can swing it.

Don't ever fall for the "What kind of monthly payments were you looking to make ?" line. That's too much ammo to give 'em. Doesn't sound like you have a trade-in, which is always a rip-off anyway. Demand the best deal on the total price upfront, and negotiate from there. Remember these guys aren't your friends and couldn't care less if they sell you an over-priced piece of crap. Be ruthless, because they are, even if the guy is cute and friendly.

Decide what you're looking for and do your research. Know what that sucker is really worth before you go looking. You can find Kelly's Blue Book and similar trade pubs online. Consumer Reports is well worth the subscription price, believe me.

Above all, >no< deal is so good that you can't take at least 24 hours to consider it.

Hope this helps. Your mechanic skills are fine, and better than most. S**t happens. I'd rather have oral sex with a deranged goat than deal with a real estate agent or a car salesman, but such is life.

Hang in there.
By BecauseHeLives
Features Reporter
Published: Tue Oct 24, 2006 4:16 pm

There are fairly easy ways to fix credit reports. I've done mine and a few relatives as well. Its not hard to do but takes 2-4 months to see real results. I was able to get about 20 negative marks (including a repossesion and a BK Chapter 7 removed from one relative.
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