Full Throttle by Coca Cola

We had a sales meeting and a potential new vending company for our break room catered it. They are trying to get our long-term business so they donated a couple cases of Full Throttle by Coca Cola for the meeting. No one touched it so it was free pickings.

So I skipped the traditional morning java to give a try. First off I read the label: 2 servings per can. Now what the hell is up with this? It's a carbonated drink. Am I supposed to drink half the can and set it aside until later and drink it flat? I've done the trick with sticking a spoon in an open can of soda to retain the carbonation. But it just doesn't taste the same. Along with that, my work kinda frowns on open cans of soda in the fridge and I don’t keep a supply of metal spoons in my desk.

Perhaps it's a drink to promote friendship. "Pardon me, would you like to go Full Throttle with me?" Or maybe that's half throttle for each of us.

Anyway, I gave it a try. Now I should point out I didn't have this in the fridge so it was room temp. I pop it open, hear the fizz go, and take a swig. My mouth instantly explodes into a super nova of cavities. Could they put any more sugar in this??

I'm a southern transplant so I typically water down or ask for unsweetened tea (sacrilegious I know). I can drink the typical sweetened tea if I'm just sipping some but can’t slam it down and ask for more. I don’t mind Diet Mountain dew.

But this drink is like the rock candy you made as a kid: pure sugar. Tell me you've all made your own rock candy as kids. No not crack rock, but boiled water, tons of sugar, letting it cool in a jar with a string in it. You've never done this???

Anyway, after I recover from the dental shock, I go get some ice in a cup. That's a little better but still kinda nasty to me. It basically tastes like over-sweetened, strong, Mountain Dew.

Ok so I manage to drink my 2 servings, (mom always made me clean my plate as a kid). This is pretty loaded with caffeine. It's got more than just a cup of coffee but not as much as like getting a shot of espresso in your overpriced coffee at Starbucks.

The verdict: Matt’s stupid enough to drink anything if it’s free. But he’s not stupid enough to pay $2 for a can of Full Throttle.
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