So say your Jesus right? You did the whole
create a religion thing, then the whole Resurrection hoo haa haa; and then, the Messiah protection program relocates you to the great white north. You put on a few pounds, and your beard grows a little white as you realize you've never planned for your retirement. Then one day you have an idea! Let's create Christmas and make some money. Sure... just name the sheep something like, Oh say Rudolph, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, and a few others. Tie them up to your old field wagon, and the rest is history.
Jesusanta realized early on that Pole Dancer Elmo would do a lot better than weeping Mary. Of course this led to a few changes in the new version of Christianity.
Fish for 1000's=toys for millions
heaven=gifts
hell=coal
Apostles=reindeer
flies through the air=ascension
angels=elves
commandments=Santa's list
chimney decent=Jesus's decent on earth
sleigh rails=mangers staff
Christmas Tree=Garden of Eden
Holly / Wreath=Christ's crown of thorns and others
Cookies & Milk=Communion
Ms. Claus=Mary
Bible / Psalms=carols
devil=walmart
