There, I came up against a solid wall of resistance and an important lesson in my life. I had never overtly discussed religion with my family, and I had no idea what they had experienced before I came on the scene. My mother knew full well what sort of evil can happen when a person gets too religious. Her mother, being a Christian Science follower, had refused to treat her diabetes. My maternal grandmother had been luckier than most in one respect. The stroke that finally occurred had killed her pretty quickly, and she never went through the horrors of losing her limbs and eyesight as some I've seen. My Dad came from a somewhat Dickensian upbringing. His birth was "scandalous," by the standards of early 20th century England, and he had been handed to a poor family in the country to be raised. He experienced the harsh reality of religious authorities and their attitude toward "bastards." So he had little use for religion nearly all his life.
Later, as I was "growing in Christian zeal" as the Southern Baptists sometimes say, I learned that some of my views on religion and other matters didn't quite jibe with many in my chosen church. It bothered me that I was a pacifist in an increasingly militant congregation. I was socially progressive on some matters, but that sure didn't sit well with many others around me. Heck, I carried on in my life a fair number of Communist positions, and that got me a few stern talking-tos from my Sunday School teachers. I have to say, that made me pretty indignant.
I went on in this manner for a few years before I finally realized something. I was pissing off an awful lot of people with my attitudes. I think the turning point came when I claimed in front of my fellow co-workers at a knitting mill that when I became a Christian that I stopped masturbating, due to its being an unholy thing to do. Yeah... I had the religion bug so bad that I was willing to lie in my efforts to convert others. Please note: before you start going on about onanism, remember the truism that 98% of all men masturbate... the other 2% are liars.
Anyway, that sort of thing bothered me, because it went against some of my most dearly held values. I got down on myself for going so far overboard. It was time to re-think a lot of things. Particularly how I viewed the unalterable fact that there are always going to be a lot of folks who disagree with me. I came to the conclusion that arguing with everyone was not going to be profitable for much of anything.
So I started to learn and practice the art of getting along. The rest is history, such as it is.
But the other day, I came across a recent convert to Christianity, one of these folks who call themselves "Jews for Jesus." I started seeing him post to a newspaper blog I often look in on. What impressed me about him was his combative style. He had an uncompromising view of others. Like one quote of Jesus, he seemed to think if you aren't with him, you're an enemy. And if you turned out to be an enemy, hoo boy! You get a lot of talk about hate, a lot of capitals (known in the posting world as shouting), and not a lot of listening.
I thought that anyone who has gone through the heartache, trouble, and difficulties of changing religious standpoints, as I have, would have developed a slightly less aggressive attitude than this. After all, he should know, I thought, that people of differing views are just people, not enemies. Then, I thought back to my first years as a Christian and realized that maybe a rigid attitude is a natural part of a new convert's mindset. Perhaps it is an attempt to guard against further discomfort of shifting views again.
Of course, that leads to other guesses about why those who never change their convictions can be every bit as nasty to outsiders... but they'd be only guesses.
Actually, your post resonated with me as far as the more relaxed views go. I've never had one of those periods of religious zeal, however. I question too many things to be able to drown myself in the blood of the lamb.
