Tijuana Donkey Show ™ - Visit Mexico

Tijuana Donkey Show ™ - Visit Mexico

by Liv Published on May 3rd, 2006, 7:23 am Rift: Travel

Tijuana Donkey Show

What is the Tijuana Donkey Show you ask? Your thinking "Hey, I've been to Tijuana", I love their Papas&Beer, "A Tijuana Donkey Show has got to involve Cute Little Donkeys, Happy little, funny speaking, Mexicans, and they put on a show right?" Sort of like the Mexican version of Shrek?

WRONG!

So what is a Tijuana Donkey Show, you may be wondering? Unlike the Broadway musical of where the lead sings "Don't Cry for Me, Donkey Penis", the "authentico" version usually is held in a dirt floor bar or "discoteca" (a dance floor) where patrons are taxi-cabbed in, (The cabbies get a cut) and then are enticed to purchase large amounts of cerveza (beer) or gamble, while waiting for the "main event" of a beautiful, scantly clad Latina woman (not to mention handsomely paid) arousing a restrained donkey lying on it's back. (Vegas has a similar scam with Celine Dion) It's not exactly Sesame Street on Ice, and is more along the lines of Debbie Does Dallas. Just replace the Dallas with a Donkey and you get the picture.

To be more precise, outside of "conservative" America, where people don't go walking around with Bibles up our return air supplies, there is a type of entertainment called burlesque. This Mexican version, called "burlesco", is perhaps some of the raunchiest, grotesque theatrical shows in the world. The "Donkey Show" makes Moulan Rouge, and the original "Hoochie Coochie" seem like Sunday sermons in comparison.

Apparently the Donkey Show concept has existed in many different forms for at least 25 years. Various other forms of animals have been used in lieu of a donkey, but none of them has captured the American tourist's drunk imagination like the Original Donkey Show of Tijuana. In a town which has done so much to help America lose it's virginity, what a few chromosomes of difference between species, really?

But apparently the "real" Donkey Show isn't in Tijuana. Tijuana is merely a con, or a scam for wiley Mexicans making a quick buck off ignorant tourists . While the original show is still performed daily in prostitution legal, Boy's Town, (La Zona Rosa [The Red Light District] of Nuevo Laredo), Mexico which has far less stringent policia restrictions as the reputation protected Tijuana which attracts thousands of American tourists daily. Gulliable tourists likely often believe that "true" donkey shows are performed in Tijuana, because of the pop culture references in movies and TV which lead to the popularity of the phrase "Tijuana Donkey Show". You may just be strolling around T.J. with 10 tequila shots to the wind, taco con carnitas in hand when a Tijuana cab driver entices you and your friends to a real life Donkey Show". Your first thought is... "Hey I remember something about that in a movie", "Sure". You pile into the cab, and not knowing exactly where you're being taken, it's too late when the cabbie pulls down a narrow alley and you're robbed by a band of Mexican muggers. Worse yet, there are stories of unwilling American tourists who go in search of the Donkey Show in Boy's Town, and end up becoming part of the show itself in the fashion of 'Girls gone Wild".

Patron's of the bar started cheering burro, burro, burro as they dragged me to the stage, stripped, and bound to the dance pole with rope in a fashion so the donkey could perform it's show unhindered.

The argument has been made that the Tijuana version of the Donkey Show is but a metaphor for the dumb-"donkey like" Americans who come to Mexico in search of the elusive pop-culture entertainment phenomenon.

Due to the popularity of "The Donkey Show" as a tourist attraction, many legit, and clean bars and discotecas now feature variety shows, or contests called "Donkey Shows" and may be suggestive in nature, (like simulating arousal using a beer bottle as a prop) but do not contain the graphic nature of the more perverse kind.

The Tijuana Donkey Show Video:

I assume this is one of the cantina operator attempting to wrangle in his unit:

Open Video In New Window

Urban Legend or Truth? You decide...

If you really want to see it... the real thing... Google "zoofilia con burro" which I highly recommend against if you wish to retain your eyesight.

[Sanjuro]

If it was in Clerks 2, it must be true.

[Liv]

So the other day I told you about Laughlin. Today I'm going to reach in my memory banks and tell you about somewhere else. Let's go to Tijuana Mexico.

For someone living in North Carolina who hasn't been to Tijuana, the experience is that of shockingly black and white. Tijuana however goes far deeper then it's border facade of tequila and prescription-less drugs. No, Tijuana is a haven for just about everything illegal in the United States. But don't judge it for that, as it's filled with culture, interesting people, and great food.

My first experience with T.J., the commonly referred to jargon in Southern California, was shortly after moving to Ventura. My Spanish teacher who was also a white blonde gringa, spoke fluently the language, and was actually the author of our textbooks. She may have looked Americana, but she knew the ins-and-outs of Mexico.

She gave me good advice on my way there, some on which is fairly important.

1) park on the US side and walk across.
2) Don't get arrested in TJ
3) You can bring 2 bottles of Tequila home.
4) Don't go to the Tijuana Donkey Show.

So one day, I threw the T-tops off of the Camaro I was driving and headed down the 101 to the 405 and into San Diego County.

The drive is one of the most beautiful and serene drives in California. Open freeways with the coast on your side, you don't even realize your getting close until you see highways signs with rapidly running Mexicans warning you to beware of hitting Mexicans.

For me this was comical because the closest thing in North Carolina we have is a deer crossing sign. I couldn't imagine having to call your insurance to say you'd hit a Mexican.

So I park the Camaro feet away from a 12 foot brown iron fence in a secured parking lot. Throw the roof back on, and begin walking to the spiral gates that allow entrance into the country. It's fairly lackluster as no one questions anyone entering the country, it's the leaving that's such a big deal. Once you clear this area which is some sort of purgatory between the 2 countries you arrive in a hustling and bustling Tijuana. It's like going from a country road to New York city in the matter of seconds. Immediately if your white, little girls come running up to you begging for money. Street vendors shout out "Bonita Senorita, come here, por favor." Trinkets, Jewelery, and everything you can imagine is being sold at the highest price they can sucker you out of.

The most important part of any Tijuana trip, I learned after several times is the food. The aromas fill the air as you arrive, and everything from tacos, to nachos, with authentic Mexico sanitation, line the marketplace. Combine this with the bars, and grab a cerveza with nachos for only dollars.

Most people come to Tijuana for something, whether its a busload of senior citizens getting their prescriptions or underage college students enjoying Mexico's relaxed drinking laws.

What most people don't know is the city of Tijuana beyond that which most people see just across the border is that of poverty and lawlessness. During daylight you can grab a Taxi and head into the city for even better deals on the things you've come for, including those who come for the sex industry, and the illegal narcotics.

In Tijuana, there is opportunity, and many of it's residents take advantage of any US visitor who is easily persuaded. One of the more commonly held scams is for taxi drivers to take unsuspecting victims to some back alley where they're robbed and left for gullible. One of these scams is the Tijuana Donkey Show I mentioned earlier.

For me, I travelled to Tijuana about 20-30 times in my 5 years living in California. It was always interesting, and at times, educational. The process of coming back across was always simple for me, but for anyone who half way looked ethnically Mexican, the ability to cross the border with drugs and alcohol, often made you feel like a smuggler, even if it was only Tequila & Midol. The first few times you stand in line at the border control & are asked "what country your from" it's an utter relief to be back stateside. This quickly fades the more you go, because eventually realize, the US government has to let you back, or no marijuana will make it to Berkley.

[A Person]

Well I missed your earlier post so I had no idea what a Tijuana Donkey Show is. I could guess but being an analytical person I went to Google. Imagine my surprise. Greensboring is the #1 Google hit for "Tijuana Donkey Show"

[Sanjuro]

That sign cracks me up. It could just as easily mean. "Caution, people fleeing Godzilla"

I havent been to TJ, but I have walked into Nogales. Its very much as you describe above...prescription drugs, cuban cigars, liquor, adult entertainment, etc.

However I was surprised by the utter lack of security coming back into the country. The guy at the xray machine might as well have been asleep. This was in 2003! You'd think they would be more attentive to it.

[mercurialmike]

When my wife and I were living in San Diego, we frequently would travel to Tijauna for the day. We always parked at the parking lot on the San Ysidro (USA) side and took a bus for a dollar over to Avenue Revolucion (sp?) to shop and eat, always without any problems.

One day we chose to drive our car over the border, after purchasing the required Mexican auto insurance. We drove the 90km distance down the coast to Ensenada, a remarkably beautiful drive on a well maintained toll road along the Baja coast high above the Pacific Ocean. What beautiful views! We had a great time shopping and eating at the excellant local restaurants.

Then on our return we were stopped by what appeared to be local Tijuana police for "speeding". I told them respectfully that we were sorry if we had gone over the limit maybe by 5 MPH, but began to suspect that the two Mexican partolmen were imposters. They did not ask for any ID or proof of insurance, which a bona fide Federale or local police would naturally have done. They wanted us to pay a fine to them (first asking, how much money do we have!) and when I politely told them that I had no money left in my wallet, they ordered us to follow them "to see the judge." After they made a turn off the main road down a narrow one way street, I gunned it and raced down the hill to the border, anxiously looking in my rear view mirror for lights and listening for a siren. Fortunately, they did not follow us, we made it back to the good ol' USA safely, and my wife and I never returnd to Tijauna after that incident. I think if we had followed them, we might both be stuck in the Tijauna jail today. Beware of fake police in Tijuana!