Speaking of death...

Speaking of death...

by SouthernFriedInfidel | Published on August 19th, 2008, 12:29 pm | Life

My wife's best friend is out of town this week, dealing with a death in the family. Earlier this year, her mother-in-law died. This lady's dying wish was to be cremated and for the family to take a cruise in the Caribbean, and scatter her ashes on the sea in some lush, exotic place.

The family decided that a cruise would not work for them, but they thought they could stand to fly to Barbados and scatter Grandma's ashes there. The trip was to be this week.

Somewhere along the way, the brother who was custodian of the ashes, up in New York, decided that he really didn't feel like going to the bother of traveling to Barbados. He canceled the trip and got refunds on all the tickets. Now the family is gathered in New York, and the plan is to get in the family's boat and cruise out to the ocean off of New Jersey and dump the ashes there.

I hope Grandma gets real busy haunting these jerks. What a way to say "So long and thanks for everything..." :evil:

Lovely....

Last we heard, they're harvesting Shan's cousin....

I'm curious as to the charade which will occur post death... Thankfully, we will not be flying back for the wake, nor the ensuing chaos.

SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:Somewhere along the way, the brother who was custodian of the ashes, up in New York, decided that he really didn't feel like going to the bother of traveling to Barbados. He canceled the trip and got refunds on all the tickets. Now the family is gathered in New York, and the plan is to get in the family's boat and cruise out to the ocean off of New Jersey and dump the ashes there.

Perhaps brother realized that all the stuff we do after some dies is for us, not for the deceased. And if grandma knew before she died that "this is all you get", then maybe she wouldn't have burdened them with the wish for the scattering of her ashes. Dumping her off the NJ shore??? Nobody dumps stuff out there! :twisted:

Serendipitous wrote:Perhaps brother realized that all the stuff we do after some dies is for us, not for the deceased. And if grandma knew before she died that "this is all you get", then maybe she wouldn't have burdened them with the wish for the scattering of her ashes.

You do understand that one could think that she made that wish in order to get her kids to go someplace nice and relax after she died?

Just last night, I told my son that I want my ashes scattered out in the ocean off the shores of Maui. And I'd like him to take at least 2 weeks to deal with the burden of carrying the ashes so very far... :lol:

SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:You do understand that one could think that she made that wish in order to get her kids to go someplace nice and relax after she died?

Just last night, I told my son that I want my ashes scattered out in the ocean off the shores of Maui. And I'd like him to take at least 2 weeks to deal with the burden of carrying the ashes so very far...

Good point with happy thoughts, but unless I prepaid for the trip for my kids, I wouldn't ask them to spend their money on me after I'm gone.

Serendipitous wrote:Good point with happy thoughts, but unless I prepaid for the trip for my kids, I wouldn't ask them to spend their money on me after I'm gone.

When your kids are grown and prosperous, you may have a different view of things. I have no problem with this because the point here (I'm guessing, and projecting) was to try and give her kids an excuse to live it up a little after a long hard slog through taking care of a parent in her last days. I really don't think she could have given a hoot where her ashes ended up... but she was trying to give a little gift that she most likely had no power to provide otherwise. And they are spitting on that gift by staying at home and dumping her ashes as close to home as possible.

Bleah.

SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:
Serendipitous wrote:Good point with happy thoughts, but unless I prepaid for the trip for my kids, I wouldn't ask them to spend their money on me after I'm gone.

When your kids are grown and prosperous, you may have a different view of things. I have no problem with this because the point here (I'm guessing, and projecting) was to try and give her kids an excuse to live it up a little after a long hard slog through taking care of a parent in her last days. I really don't think she could have given a hoot where her ashes ended up... but she was trying to give a little gift that she most likely had no power to provide otherwise. And they are spitting on that gift by staying at home and dumping her ashes as close to home as possible.

Bleah.

See, I would have just come out and told my kids GO ENJOY LIVING and left my ashes out of it.

You're not used to playing weird mind games with your kids. I can tell. :mrgreen:

If I saw that my kids were sticks in the mud sorts and needed to get out of life-long ruts, this would be the ideal way to get them out of their boxes. And really, from what I've heard, this family is all about staying comfortably in their little ruts.

NJ Shore?? Why bother to cremate? :lol:

Sanjuro wrote:NJ Shore?? Why bother to cremate?

This is a valid question, I think.

SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:You're not used to playing weird mind games with your kids. I can tell.

After all the damage MY mom did to me with her personality and the culture and the Catholicism... only games me and my young'uns play are fun ones.

SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:If I saw that my kids were sticks in the mud sorts and needed to get out of life-long ruts, this would be the ideal way to get them out of their boxes. And really, from what I've heard, this family is all about staying comfortably in their little ruts.

I don't think you can help someone unless they want to be helped... this family managed to find a way to go from cruise to quick boat trip off NJ!

Sadly, I must agree. Haunting by Grandma it is, then...

Just got some more information on this story. Apparently, Grandma had saved up enough money for all her children and their spouses to go on the cruise she wanted them to take, in a special account. So while this family was busy spitting in Grandma's face, the child who re-wrote the script was went about taking the family out to lavish dinners at the best places to eat and using the cruise money. At each meal, the theme was "This meal's on Grandma!"

:evil:

SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:Just got some more information on this story. Apparently, Grandma had saved up enough money for all her children and their spouses to go on the cruise she wanted them to take, in a special account. So while this family was busy spitting in Grandma's face, the child who re-wrote the script was went about taking the family out to lavish dinners at the best places to eat and using the cruise money. At each meal, the theme was "This meal's on Grandma!"

Typical. Death of a family member is one sure way to bring out the greed. I worked in a bank that had a lot of elderly customers. One had been hospitalized, and the family thought it was the end...even though the person wasn't terminally ill. So when this person got out of the hospital, she came home and found that the family had already rummaged through her home and taken things. :shock:

Serendipitous wrote:Typical. Death of a family member is one sure way to bring out the greed. I worked in a bank that had a lot of elderly customers. One had been hospitalized, and the family thought it was the end...even though the person wasn't terminally ill. So when this person got out of the hospital, she came home and found that the family had already rummaged through her home and taken things.

I found it shocking and sad. When our parents died, my sister and I got together and shared the estate without a single bother. The will had said that money should be shared equally, but I chose to toss that aside and give my sister the lion's share of the estate on account of her work supporting them during their final years. It just didn't occur to either of us that we should do anything to dishonor the efforts they went through in life to build a loving, caring family.