Testing a Taser Stun Gun on Your Dog.

Testing a Taser Stun Gun on Your Dog.

by Liv | Published on January 10th, 2006, 3:13 pm | Life

About 2 years ago my dad discovered email & video poker. Since then my in-box has been inundated with those mass emails of comedy, chain letters, and Jesus miracles. Most of the time I read them and then reply with the snopes entry explaining the truth. The other day I got this one. I don't know if its true, but it sure is funny.

Dear Friends,

The other day while shopping for my wife's birthday present I came across something I knew was something that she might get a "shock" out of. She may argue it's actually for me, but I'll deny it everytime.

What did I buy? Well in the approaching weeks, she had mentioned several times how she didn't like leaving work after dark since the time changed, and wanted to get a can of pepper spray. So when I saw a 90,000 VOLT pocket stun-gun taser; I knew I had found the perfect Birthday gift. If your not familiar with what this is, let me explain: These are the non-lethal stun gun like apparatuses you see on the shows like Cops with two metal prongs, that when touched to a person incapacitates the assailant while you flee to safety.

The box says "No Long Term Effects", but you've got to wonder; as did I, and this is where the story took the turn for the worse.

So I bring the thing home, and on my day off with her at work, I figured I needed to check this thing out for myself. After all I was trusting my wife's safety to this little stun-gun.

So I inserted three fresh AA Energizer batteries into the thing, and pushed the trigger mechanism.

It didn't work. I began to get disappointed. Then I figured I'd glance at the instructions.

There in black in white, I discovered that this model doesn't arch. Supposedly this is an added effect for the advertising on the box. What I later discovered, and that they don't tell you is that placing the taser against a metal surface provides an excellent light show with electrical pops, that amused me and my dog for almost a half hour.

Just so you know, I have yet to come up with a good explanation for my wife as to where the black burnt spot on the refrigerator came from.

Somewhere in this hour of power, I began to question the effects of this small taser, powered by only 3 AA batteries. So there I sit in my Lazy-Boy, my dog and I in that silent stare of me saying "I've got to try this thing." and him saying "Oh (expletive)"

I bent over and with the taser on the lowest setting pressed the taser to Murphy my dog, and pressed the button. The dogs legs fell out from under him, and he barked. He got up and ran off.

That wasn't so bad I thought. Murphy is now staring back at me from the kitchen growling and showing me his fangs. I knew what he was thinking, and he was right. "Let me see you try it dumb-ass" his little doggy eyes glared.

So there I am in boxer shorts, and my wife beater with my glasses perched on my nose. Instructions in one had, and Taser in the other. I take one last look at the directions:

Setting Low: Disorient and Shock your assailant.

Setting High: Loss of Muscle Control, and Momentary Paralysis.

I couldn't help while reading this, staring at this little bity Taser the size of a remote control with its low-powered AA batteries, thinking no freaking way.

So I turn the taser to high and look over to Murphy who now has his head cocked as if saying "Don't do it man."

So..... I placed the prongs on my leg, and then pushed the button.

It was at this point, I'm vaguely aware of the hand of God picking me up out of the Lazy-Boy and slamming me on the floor over and over again.

My nipples burning, my testicles glowing, the dog laughing at me, I didn't have the motor skills to release my finger off the button. Somewhere in between me driving the prongs into my leg and me pissing my own pants I blacked out.

Several minutes later, I awoke to Murphy licking my face. I sat up and tried to find my glasses which where now in the dogs water bowl in the kitchen. My head hurt like hell, my face was numb, and my crotch now tingled while my lips felt like 90Lbs.

A few days later I gave my wife the taser. The first question out of her mouth was, do you think it will actually work? I turned to Murphy then back to her, and we both shook our heads.

: taser_mp3_player.jpg (8.69 KiB) Viewed 2848 times

I'm firmly against tasers in schools for police, but now it's becoming normal for parents to buy their children one for protection just as they do with cell-phones. The good news, is you can now get taser accessories so your daughter can carry her taser in a fashionable leopard print holster with built in Mp3 player. Yes now your teen can zap the hell out of her perp while listening to Bon Jovi. The question is will you be buying your children one?

Taser International has launched an electronic stun gun with a built-in media player at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

The Taser MPH (Music Player Holster) is aimed at joggers and outdoor enthusiasts as a way of combining music and protection. The device is available in a variety of colours, including pink and leopard print.

"Personal protection can be both fashionable and functional," said Rick Smith, founder of Taser International.

"The Taser leopard print design provides a personal protection option for women who want fashion with a bite."

Tasers fire two darts carrying 50,000 volts into the target and usually knock a human unconscious.

70 people have died after being struck.

Oh man, every citizen should have one. Maybe those trigger happy cops would think twice about using theirs. :twisted:

j/k... kinda..

I wonder what company policy is, on my mounting one of these on the side of my "business casual" dress.

All the managers have cell-phones like they're important... think of the respect I'd demand with this sucker.

"I'm sorry.... what do you mean that I didn't satisfy the customers needs?"

Liv wrote:
taser_mp3_player.jpg
I'm firmly against tasers in schools for police, but now it's becoming normal for parents to buy their children one for protection just as they do with cell-phones. The good news, is you can now get taser accessories so your daughter can carry her taser in a fashionable leopard print holster with built in Mp3 player. Yes now your teen can zap the hell out of her perp while listening to Bon Jovi.

Light them up while listening to WHOM?
Chris Brown, maybe. Fergie, Kanye or Alicia Keyes. Timbaland. Mom's the one listening to Bon Jovi.

Earlier this week, I was telling my friend about college/post-college when I had one of those "body alarm" thingies... pull a pin and it sounds an alarm at a gazillion decibels... because it was supposedly "safer" than carrying mace which could be sprayed in YOUR eyes. And well, I guess the same could be true for a taser. That would suck (to say the very least) to get tasered with your own taser. Major suckage.

Heres the thing. You go out buy a taser. Walk up to someone you don't like and Taser the puck out of them. While they're laying their seizuring, you run off. How does one prove you've been wrongfully tasered?

Liv wrote:Heres the thing. You go out buy a taser. Walk up to someone you don't like and Taser the puck out of them. While they're laying their seizuring, you run off. How does one prove you've been wrongfully tasered?

Because any self respecting gentleman would urinate on their twitching, writhing body while incapacitated. They could pull something from that. :twisted:

Serendipitous wrote:... because it was supposedly "safer" than carrying mace which could be sprayed in YOUR eyes. And well, I guess the same could be true for a taser. That would suck (to say the very least) to get tasered with your own taser. Major suckage.

Yeah but it would be funny as all hell to everyone else.

Well! This should get really fun when Muffy gets annoyed at Brandy for flirting with Muffy's boyfriend and Muffy Tasers Brandy. It should get even more fun when some little darling Tasers some other little darling in a schoolyard squabble and the tasee happens to have a heart condition and dies from said Taser experience. The wonderful news feeding frenzy and subsequent lawsuits and criminal trials should keep us all entertained for months!

Nfidel wrote:
Serendipitous wrote:... because it was supposedly "safer" than carrying mace which could be sprayed in YOUR eyes. And well, I guess the same could be true for a taser. That would suck (to say the very least) to get tasered with your own taser. Major suckage.

Yeah but it would be funny as all hell to everyone else.

Even I would laugh.

Hmm, I think we should have a re-enactment G'boring style! SFI, you can pick two G'boring folks and distribute tasers to 'em (yes, I know, decisions, decisions... who to choose). Post the video when the showdown is over. :wink:

In a small town in Louisiana, a man was arrested for cocaine possession, put in handcuffs and tasered NINE times.

A few items from the story that I found of interest:

First, the company that makes these things says that "multiple Tasings do not affect a person." I wonder if they've done research to back that one up?

Second, the story says that of the 14 recorded police taser incidents in this little town, TEN of them were associated with the officer in this one. Sounds like someone in management wasn't paying attention.

Third, it says that the 7th stot from this taser-happy creep was one to the chest, as they were taking this poor guy out of the police car. That's probably the one that killed him.

What the hell is wrong with these people? Putting a 50,000 volt shock right to the CHEST of a handcuffed man...?

"But the company manual says that it doesn't HURT anyone!" Geez, people!! :twisted:

I think it's pretty much assumed, eventually these things are going to be outlawed. I know if I ever got tased I'd sue the crap out of the people, even if I don't win.... just to piss them off.

In Canada alone, at least 20 people have died after police shocked them with a Taser

I don't think we should remove them from the police, but they do need to be treated as potentially lethal weapons, not as convenience tools (cattle prods) to promote obedience. Using a Taser should require the same justification and followup as using a gun.

And put a freakin timing circuit in them.

Seriously though we use defib machines to start & stop hearts, I don't get where the breakdown in logic is that these aren't fatal. If the current crosses the heart it's going to stop.

Liv wrote:And put a freakin timing circuit in them.

They have a timer. But thay can be fired mutliple times.

A TASER uses up to 50,000 volts of arcing voltage to deliver a charge via the tips of its probes. Ashley, however, says TASERs are typically programmed to fire for five seconds, not enough time for a full discharge—the cycle can be stopped in less than five seconds if the weapon's safety lever is moved into the "safe" position. The high voltage is available so that a TASER's charge can reach across a gap of about two inches (or five centimeters) of air or clothing to connect with the victim's body; the probes do not have to actually penetrate skin to work. When fired, the TASER X26 weapon, a model commonly used by law enforcement, operates at 19 pulses per second at a pulse duration of 100 microseconds to deliver an average current of 2.1 milliamps. (Editor's note: in an earlier version of this story, it was mistakenly reported that a TASER has a peak current of 3 amps.) Put in perspective, a University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign study indicates that at 20 milliamps, breathing becomes labored. At 100 milliamps, ventricular fibrillation of the heart—an uncoordinated twitching of the walls of the heart's ventricle—occurs.

Clearly they're not fatal in most cases when used properly. However that's been taken to mean 'they're perfectly safe". Repeated zappings of agitated people will occaisionally kill them. And I don;t want the tool removed from the arsenal. But it does need to be treated as a potentially lethal weapon

I want them gone. People generally think twice when they shoot a gun atleast.

I would far rather be hit with a Taser than a gun or beaten with a night stick. In over 99% of cases no permanent harm is done, which is more than can be said for the alternatives. And it's good that police can neutralise a potential threat to themselves or passers-by.

But we do need to lose the idea that it's harmless.

A Person wrote:I would far rather be hit with a Taser than a gun or beaten with a night stick. In over 99% of cases no permanent harm is done, which is more than can be said for the alternatives. And it's good that police can neutralise a potential threat to themselves or passers-by.

But we do need to lose the idea that it's harmless.

I fully agree. There are a lot of extremely dangerous misconceptions floating around about these things. And one would think that police departments -- of all organizations in the world -- would understand them fully and have sensible controls in place and proper training at all levels.

They had an interesting thing on NGC (Ithink it was NGC) last night which proved a human can overcome the paralysis of it and still attack a person... bla, bla, bla....

Liv wrote:They had an interesting thing on NGC (Ithink it was NGC) last night which proved a human can overcome the paralysis of it and still attack a person... bla, bla, bla....

I heard on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" that the DHS folks are working to create a wristband to issue to air travelers that will act as a boarding pass and airport ID. Until you get out of line; then it can be activated to shock and disable you.

Fun guys, these security folks. :lol:

My solution... Spidey Net... Like Spiderman... Non lethal, fun, and if you die from that.... well then I can't help ya.

That reminds me of those stickyboard traps. They can be lethal. I set some for my mum who was having a problem with squirrels getting into the house. The next day the stickyboard had disappeared but I later found it stuck to a joist in the basement with a swirrel tail firmly attached but no squirrel. Shades of Squirrel Nutkin.

I knew a dude who had a pet snake once that was really mean. On day it bit him on the face, so he tased it. It just made the snake even meaner.... :mrgreen: