Medical update from SFI

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

I won't go into the more upsetting parts of my story... just the details that may be of interest to the group here.

I have decided on surgery for my cancer, to get the prostate gland removed. This is the best way to deal with the situation, given my age, physical condition, and the state of the unwanted guest in my body.

My wife and I will be talking with the surgeon in a couple of weeks. I go in for pre-op testing the week after. Should everything check out at that time, I'll be having the surgery on Sept 8. The surgeon will be using a robot to deal with this stuff. Supposedly, he's a highly experienced and skilled guy with the machinery. They say I'll be in the hospital 1 day afterward, then back home for another week.

Not at ALL happy about the effects this will have on my body, but sadly, the alternatives are far worse.

[Liv]

You tell that surgeon get those fuck_ing cancer bastards, and kick their ass.

[A Person]

Make that Doc go beep boop boop beep


How's the insurance thing? Are you covered?

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

I'll be sure to print that cartoon for the doc. Laughter may not be the best medicine in this case, but it won't hurt at all.

My wife's insurance will cover this mostly, but I will have to pay a fair chunk of change out of our savings. Thank goodness we've already paid for our vacations for the next year and a half...

[Nfidel]

I was thinking of you and your diagnoses just last night then saw your post here. Rid thyself of the demon cancer sir. All else is secondary. I hope you'll keep us updated on your progress.

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

Yep. Of course, some details just can't be shared. But I'll post everything I share with my family. I expect eventually, I'll end up getting counseling, should thing turn out sub-optimal. But we'll just have to wait and see, I guess.

Thanx

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

Ok. Now these people are starting to piss me off. I understand that I need to talk with the surgeon who will perform my operation. I understand the pre-op tests I have to have done.

What I have trouble with are these other things they are trying to get me in for. Like a couple of "free" classes for people facing robotic surgery. Yeah, they're free if you can get away from work for 2-3 hours. Screw that... What ever happened to "count backward from 100 and you'll wake up this afternoon some time"?

Then today, the doctor office called to tell me I need to come in before the surgery for a couple of sessions of physical therapy. WTF?? I expect that they want to tell me all about the exercises I need to do to minimize problems with incontinence. And coincidentally drain more damn co-pay money out of me.

It's bad enough what I'm going to go through. Do they HAVE to call me every couple of days with NEW indignities to heap on me with no warning??

[Liv]

Just think, you're making some corporation, very rich. What a true American.

[A Person]

What's wrong is that you should be taking paid time off work to prepare for and recover from your surgery. And all the costs should be covered, with no deductible, co-pay or uncertainty.

The right wing argument that if health care is free, people will abuse the system and have unnecessary prostate surgery or kidney dialysis is ludicrous.

[Liv]

I'd like some free dental too.

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

What's wrong is that you should be taking paid time off work to prepare for and recover from your surgery. And all the costs should be covered, with no deductible, co-pay or uncertainty.

The right wing argument that if health care is free, people will abuse the system and have unnecessary prostate surgery or kidney dialysis is ludicrous.

What sort of un-American fantasy world are YOU living in?

Oh right.... Canada.

[A Person]

All countries with an AAA credit rating have universal health care

Just sayin'

[Liv]

We're a third world country, we can't afford stuff like that here....

Maybe we just need Dyson?

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

So I got the instructions for what to do the day before the surgery. Doesn't strike me as pleasant AT ALL. But considering the details of what the surgeon will be doing to my "internal plumbing," I guess it's inevitable.

Today, I had the fun of my first visit to the physical therapist. The effort to minimize the problem of incontinence resulting from my surgery starts now with three different exercises designed to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles. So I now have to try and remember to do this stuff every hour on the hour until the day of my surgery. Oy.

And if I am a typical patient, it sounds like I'll be needing "leakage protection" for upwards of a month. NOT happy! I just have to keep telling myself "Not doing this will only make it worse later."

And the final bit of fun: I have to get up with a lawyer to set up a living will to file with the hospital. Oh yeah -- my wife will REALLY love handling THAT document!

Tomorrow, I get to sit with the surgeon and my wife and have a heart-to-heart chat. And next week, I have to attend a hospital "class" on how to deal with robotic surgery. They say I"m not allowed to bring any children to that. Wonder why?

[Liv]

Sounds like a lot of fun SFI...

Let that surgeon know he better do a good job, or I'll find out where he lives and post it on the internet.

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

I printed off the comic that AP posted, as a gift to the surgeon. I'm hoping that contributes to a good mood for him...

[A Person]

next week, I have to attend a hospital "class" on how to deal with robotic surgery. They say I"m not allowed to bring any children to that. Wonder why?

"Put that joystick down - NOW! OMG evacuate the building"

Good luck. As we say in England "Keep your pecker up" (No that doesn't mean what you think)

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

You just HAD to choose that colloquialism, didn't you?

Anyway, thanx.

[Liv]

[A Person]

It's one of thoese expressions you learn to avoid.

Such as:

I'll knock you up in the morning (I will knock on your door in the morning)
I need a rubber (I would like an eraser)
That was a right cockup (that was a complete mess)
A nice piece of crumpet (any of the girls on Benny Hill)
All talk and no trousers (All hat and no cattle)
That really butters my parsnips (That really pleases me*)

*although traditionally it used to mean doesn't achieve much - as in "empty words butter no parsnips"

Words are but wind that do from men proceed;
None but Chamelions on bare Air can feed;
Great men large hopeful promises may utter;
But words did never Fish or Parsnips butter.
John Taylor, 1651

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

So my wife and I met the surgeon today. While the conversation was not the most pleasant, it was informative. It looks like I have a decent chance to hope for a more or less normal life after this is done with. According to the experts, with what is known, there's a decent chance that they can in fact get all of the cancer removed, and I'll never see any of that blasted stuff again.

I'll have to stay off the road for at least a couple of weeks, but luckily, the good folks at work here are willing to help me out on that. So I guess everything is set. At least, pending the outcome of my pre-op EKG and other tests...

[C. Alice]

The legal work is going to be the easy-peasy part.
And your lawyer promises there will be no " Depends" jokes.

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

I mentioned to my sister that I am looking basically at potty training round 2. Her reaction was rather amusing... After all, she was 14 when I was born, and took an active role (possibly TOO active) in round 1. I had a good chuckle over that. Hope my attitude keeps up over the coming months...

[SouthernFriedInfidel]

Further update: Went in to the hospital yesterday for my pre-op tests. Weight, height, blood pressure, temp, medication list, draw a bunch of blood, sign standard releases, watch a couple of videos on how to SURVIVE living in a hospital for less than 24 hours... Take my medical history, measure me for leggings to prevent blood clots, run an EKG and take chest x-rays. Then, there was the breathing exerciser (strange little plastic dealie that measures how strongly my lungs can draw in air) and detailed instructions on how to prepare for surgery the day before. Icky stuff like you do before a colonoscopy. Oh, and a special disinfectant soap to shower with the night before and the morning of the surgery.

I gotta say, though... The folks at the hospital have a damn good system set up for this sort of thing. I'm feeling very well prepared, and that sure helps cut into the anxiety. Now if only I could be assured of a fully functional recovery... Sadly, it is not possible with today's technology. Oh well.

[A Person]

Your rectum will be in my thoughts. Good luck to it.