Western Guilford High School Class of 1995

Western Guilford High School Class of 1995

by Liv | Published on November 14th, 2005, 12:37 pm | Greensboro

Western Guilford

So yes several years ago, and in a different reality I attended high school at Western Guilford. I can't speak for everyone who attended this school, but us... the class of 1995, just happen to be the biggest bunch of screw-ups since Richard Nixon's administration.

My first question is where the hell are all of you? Did aliens abduct everyone? Did we all join a cult? My guess is we are the first graduating high school class since Woodstock to make a living growing and selling marijuana. I mean really? Where's our Bill Gates? Our Neil Armstrong? Our biggest claim to fame is when one of us made it onto America's most wanted.

I mean really? How in the hell were we ever expected to make it in real life? We drove our freshman English teacher into a psychotic breakdown within two weeks of arriving in high school. It was obvious after four years the administration at school just wanted to get us the hell out of there. I know for damn sure I never passed Chemistry, but thank God Mrs Ray passed my ass. Not to say I didn't learn anything. I am now armed with the knowledge of how to build a bomb with nail polish and a tampon.

Remember the teacher whose grade book was filled with smiley faces and sad faces rather the A,B,C, & F's? How she would fall asleep during class assignments and pretend like she heard the whole thing at the end?

Oh and Coach Blackman... my bus driver. Perhaps the smartest person in the whole school, and he didn't even teach. This man could sum up the theory of relativity with a clip board and a dry erase marker. The man was a genius.

Then there was the gay drama teacher. At least we thought he was gay. We had no proof of course, but the fact that he never tried to combat the assumption leaves me thinking, yep he's gay. But that's okay.... just think of how many of your students that are probably gay now too? We didn't know it then.... but hey it's cool to be gay now!

May I not forget my French Teacher.... oh was she an evil lady. I swear this woman went home to a caudran and a broomstick to cook little kitties. I had just returned from my cousins funeral, of which she was fully aware of. She told me to "get over it" & "this is the real world." Needless to say I failed her class. If she only knew that in the real world people don't speak French.

So anyhow its like, 10 years later. The old high school looks pretty different. Thanks to my generous state education, my own personal success as a loser has come full circle. My official job title is Unemployed, but from this point on we will refer to a new title the head of my department (me) has coined: Head of Scientific Research for the discovery of laziness

What high school should teach you is how to successfully fill out a food stamp application. Or the tax rate on Wendy's Value menu in comparison to the change in your ashtray. They should teach you how to write a check and figure exactly how many days before the bank actually cashes it, in contrast to when your paycheck arrives. They should teach you that instead of following your dreams, the only way you will afford that double-wide is to open an EBay store and sell toast with the face of Jesus on it.

But they didn't

So here's to you class of Western Guilford Class of 95!

[Liv]

Well I had a full day today. Took Ren to see a heart specialist today, and then tried to finish some last minute loose ties today surrounding my name change. My expectation was that it would be easy and simple but it wasn't. First step was the register of deeds, which as mentioned earlier told me to call the state department in Raleigh? What? Why? Why even have the local registrar? Then it was on to High School. I went back to Western Guilford last week and was told to come back between 8am-12pm, which I did today. Okay. They send me to where the media center used to be.... Apparently the place has no use for a library anymore.... or they moved it. It's really odd, since these last two visits were the first time since I graduated that I walked the halls of Western Guilford. This time I had my kids in tow. Really kind of weird.

Okay back to the story. So I get up there, and the "Registrar" (of Western Guilford) advises me I'm so ancient that they don't have my records anymore. I'm like "I graduated in 1995." What? What do you mean, records like mine aren't in the computer? You're telling me the great (and powerful) Guilford county school systems (touted as one of the finest in NC) didn't get computers till 2000???? WHAT? So guess what... My records sit somewhere in the Guilford County School's Administration building some 15 miles away, clear across town out by A&T (ok technically even further.)

So we get in the car and drive, realize I won't make it to the other side of town without eating, and stop at Moe's and enjoy the most delectable steak burrito known to mankind. Get back in and drive all the way to the administration building, which you can barely find because trees block the building signage, and then park. (Somebody get the tree trimmers out there please!)

It took a few minutes to clarify what I needed so the receptionist could comprehend. They kept saying they'd "send it in the mail." "With the new name, right?", I asked. They didn't get it. Apparently no one in Guilford Country Schools system has ever changed there name before. Technically I was never going to do it, but after speaking with a few friends in low places (Human Resources) at my current employer, I came to the conclusion if I go back out job searching, having that information correct would be beneficial. Ok. Eventually they called out a nice woman, who seemed perplexed and seemed to indicate she wasn't too sure what she could do. Now my understanding of a "court order" was errr.... "you kind have to change it", but apparently not. It sounds like she's working on it, and she did indicate that this was the first time anyone apparently has requested their high-school transcripts name changed. I'm still wondering if/when my future potential employers contact Guilford County School's they'll get the appropriate documentation.

After all this and a fiasco at Wal-Mart later that afternoon where their pharmacy is ran by monkeys I got pretty much burnt out. Of all the stuff I thought would be difficult to change, it wasn't "this stuff" that I thought would be difficult? And when did 1995 become "The time before the dinosaurs?" Seriously? Shouldn't this kind of stuff be put on an optical media with subsequent backups "just in case" of fire, tornado, or little flying pharmacy monkeys attack?