The Bible on Toilet habits

The Bible on Toilet habits

by

Published on November 17th, 2009, 10:57 am
Rift: Religion

Very Very Strange

I find it a bit strange that he's hooked on the standing up thing. The Bible says nothing about sitting or standing, it what you piss on that it is mentioned. What's important it's that you piss on the wall and not on a tree or in a pot. I'd hate to see his house.

Oh and I have it on good authority that girls can piss on walls too if they try.

There was a joke in the Simpsons once where Rev. Lovejoy was talking about the Bible with Marge, and he said "According to this book, we're not even supposed to USE the bathroom."

Well, so far as I can recall, there is only one passage that tells about God's law for potty:

Deu 23:12-14 - You shall have a designated area outside the camp to which you shall go. With your utensils you shall have a trowel; when you relieve yourself outside, you shall dig a hole with it and then cover up your excrement. Because the LORD your God travels along with your camp, to save you and to hand over your enemies to you, therefore your camp must be holy, so that he may not see anything indecent among you and turn away from you.

Seems that the only Godly thing to do is dig cat holes. Fun. :obscene-tolietcrapper:

I didn't know that. The KJV is a bit more obtuse

23:12 Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:
23:13 And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:
23:14 For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

"A paddle on thy weapon" sounds a bit kinky.

But it's good to know God can walk about the camp without stepping in a pile of people poo. Sounds so much better than "So that God's holy flies will not paddle in thy unclean steaming piles and then upon thy bread, spreading God's righteous pestilence upon thee"

I pissed on Cardiff twice . :whistle:

The last 20 seconds was golden. (no pun intended)

So how does one, decide "Hey what should I preach this Sunday... hmmm those damn Germans whom sit to pee!"...

Just wait till the GOP hears about sitzspritzers and adds a anti-sitting while urinating opinions to their political platform....

2012: Vote Palin... "While Soft Democrats like Obama pee sitting down, Palin stands and pisses to to Russia with Love"

I remember (with horror) a toilet on the France/Germany border at a busy crossing which had blocked and it seemed that people had stood to crap on the enormous pile that had accumulated. Certainly sitting was not an option.

I decided to hold it in for a bit longer.