Chuckie Cheese Coupon Hell

First Gripe: I had to threaten a fat kid
because he punched Chance in the chest.
I said kindly "do not touch my child again".
In my head I thought "put away the pizza kid". 

I am convinced if Hell exists, it's at the Friendly center inside of Chuck E Cheese. Today we took the kids there because we were tired of parenting and this is the closest thing to day-care-by-the-hour in Greensboro. The Coupons can't justify how horrible this place is. Let's first admit that the Chucky Cheese concept of serving beer to adults, and entertaining children with machines that you put money into and get tickets out of could only be something spawned from capitalistic America.

The first thing about Chuck E Cheese is for some reason, even though I've been there like a half of dozen times in the last year, I can never find it. I know its in Friendly Center, but the whole center is one single tan nightmare, and for some reason Chuckie is in the Bermuda triangle of the center. Eventually I did find it. We went inside and got stamped by a middle aged man who acts way to happy to be the manager of an overpriced arcade. This is all done since 9/11 to make sure no one swaps kids in the fun tunnel, and leaves with the wrong kid. Either that or they just wanted to get black lights like the bar has.

#2 We ate, we drank, and we had leftovers,
and tickets on the table. The guy came
and cleaned the table before we were done.
This is the second time this has happened.
Luckily they replaced our cups,
 but since half a pizza was thrown away.
Let me clarify.... A $20.00- barely edible pizza that
 even with our Chuck E. Cheese coupon
was outrageously priced,
was tossed... and we we're offered no replacement.

I go up to the counter at peruse the menu. Expensive pizza and tokens. Expensive Pizza and more tokens. I chose the cheap option which only included two drinks, even though there was four of us. The unlimited refill station meant we would take our drinking in shifts. Even though this was the cheapest Chuckie pizza option, the total still came to about $40.00! That's right $40.00 for food. Holy crap.

So I set the kids loose with the tokens to which they mindlessly stick into machines that spit out a couple tickets. These tickets entitle you to prizes. Do you know what the $40.00 deal allowed my kids to have? Sweet tarts, and a Captain America water toy. The guy working the toy center was ultra cool and hooked the kids up with a second Captain America toy at no charge. Now that's customer service.

My biggest complaint about Chuck E Cheese is how there really isn't any games anymore. It used to be packed wall to wall with games, but now its filled with a play-land, and some 80's arcade games with a few other machines that simply suck your tokens and spit out tickets. What a load of crap this is. . Most of the games did not work, because children consistently try to shove birthday cake in the coin slots, and the Skee Ball machines that are supposed to contain 9 balls, either contain 3 or 22. Worst yet, the air hockey table had no puck, and only took your tokens, then blew air. At least they didn't take away skee-ball. I'd be really upset if they got rid of skeet-ball. Skee-ball should be an Olympic sport in my opinion.

#3 Bloody Freaking Veggie tales.
 I don't know if it was a customer who brought
it in or some other corporate idea of brain washing
but the fact that Friendly Center Chuck E Cheese
chose to display Veggie Tales on their wide-screen TVs
 on stage was a tad bit annoying.
 If I have to hear from a vegetable with no arms who magically drives
 a car and for some odd reason has shirt holes in their clothes
about "a creator" one more freaking time, I'm going to flip.

Remember the animatronic show? I used to love the animatronic show where they would say my name and sing me Happy Birthday. My how much the view of things changes as we grow. I just kept laughing. The stage was dim, the music was silent and there was no audience around, yet the cast continued to tick. Their mouths, heads and hands were not in full movement, they just had the same repeated subtle twitches over and over. They don't close the curtains anymore. Why? What happened to the anticipation and the peaking under the curtain to see if Chuckie goes off stage to kiss Delila the duck? Oh, and what is with the sports bar TV on the stage? No wonder our children could care less about the stage show now. Where is the mystery and anticipation? Poor Chuckie, the public doesn't appreciate good music now a days, it's all about the bling of the token and the obsession of the MIGHTY TICKET.

My recommendation is take your kids when you're highly medicated, and can push the bratty girl with pig tails out of the way, so you yourself can jump in the ball pit.